It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
