is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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