I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
