BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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