The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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