Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
