So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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