Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
