He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
