I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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