I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
