I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
