im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
