Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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