just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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