I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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