she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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