so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You are a genius and a whore.
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