Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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