i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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