I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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