I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
