There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
