10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
