handjob tips. give me some.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
