Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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