fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
