Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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