Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
