awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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