New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
