i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
