this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
