I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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