dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
