I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
