And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
