I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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