No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
