another moral hangover. fuck.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
A+ Viking dick
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
