She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He felt like a one man threesome
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
