why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
