as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
