i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
