Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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