do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
