i permit you to call me
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
