i think i have herpe
just one?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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