my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
my poor anus
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
