The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
