I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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