'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
