STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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