I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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